Review: Love Hurts
Ke Huy Quan and Ariana DeBose headline fun but forgettable action-comedy.
Ah, the January action trashterpiece. The time of year when moviegoers have grown weary of starchy prestige pictures and simply want to see highly overqualified actors bash bad guys.
Last year, we were blessed with Jason Statham’s The Beekeeper, a movie that so understood its place in the dunderhead pantheon that I said of it, “if it were any better, it would be worse.” But January has also given us Liam Neeson dispensing his special skills in Taken and fighting wolves in The Grey, Steven Soderbergh slumming it with the spy thriller Haywire, and, of course, Gerard Butler crashing a plane in … Plane. These are big, brutal and often dumb movies, but that’s not a criticism. They know the assignment and they’re often fun palate cleansers before the movie year properly starts.
And yes, I know we’re already in February. But if Love Hurts wasn’t set on Valentine’s Day, this would easily be an early January release. It has all the hallmarks of the movies mentioned above: big stars – two Oscar winners – kicking ass, a ridiculously stupid story, and a self-awareness of its own disposable nature. Plus, if it’s not this year’s Beekeeper, the romantic action comedy would be this year’s Argylle…and no one wants to be Argylle.
Love Hurts stars recent Best Supporting Actor Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan as Marvin Gable, a milquetoast realtor trying to remain optimistic on Valentine’s Day. Things take a turn when old flame Rose (recent Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner Ariana DeBose) sends him and several other men a Valentine, pulling Marvin into a deadly adventure that threatens to blow his life up. It seems that Marvin wasn’t always such a nice guy; he was a killer working for his gangster brother, who told Marv to put Rose away when she stole money from him. But because Marvin loved her, he let her go. Now, a variety of gangsters, hitmen and henchmen are chasing them across the city.
The film is a showcase for Quan, the same way that Nobody – with which this shares a producer – proved to audiences that Bob Odenkirk could be a badass. It’s less of a surprise outing for Quan, who spent most of his adult years behind the camera doing stunt work and whose wonderful turn in Everything Everywhere All at Once proved he could balance intricate fight choreography with sweetness and gentle humor.
Quan brings a slapstick goofiness to the inventive action scenes that, in the film’s best moments, are reminiscent of Jackie Chan, using his body and anything around him to defend himself and beat up the bad guys. Director Jonathan Eusebio – who cut his teeth coordinating fights on movies like John Wick – understands the importance of keeping the camera trained on the fighters to capture their fluidity. He stages each sequence with energy and punctuates the punches with visual gags, such as the moment where Marv defends himself with a staple remover. I do wish, however, that the film had pulled back on the gore, which undercuts some of the humor and charm – although one character’s death by boba is memorable.
It’s a good thing the action is enjoyable because the rest is a mixed bag. While Quan is funny and gets some laughs from his aggressive niceness, I never bought him as a hardened killer in the film’s flashbacks. And while DeBose is all flirty charm as Rose, there’s no character for her to play except instigator and love interest. And even the latter – in a film set on Valentine’s Day, no less – falls flat. The film is never clear about the relationship between Marv and Rose – he spared her because he loved her, but it’s not clear that they had a relationship or that they even talked much before he drove her out to the desert to kill her. Even when they reconnect, Rose doesn’t seem romantically interested; she keeps talking about him bringing back “the old Marv” but there’s no chemistry between Quan and DeBose. I understand the desire to combine an action movie with a romantic comedy, but this thinks a few red envelopes, smooches and candy hearts gets the job done. I’ll also take this moment to remind you that The Fall Guy exists, combines the two genres wonderfully, and you all ignored it last year (it’s on Prime and it’s perfect Valentine’s viewing).
And yet, I’d still put Love Hurts closer to The Beekeeper in terms of enjoyment than to Argylle. Because even though I can’t call it good, it’s energetic, funny and – intentionally or not – weird in a compelling way. The love story between Marv and DeBose might never work, but there’s a bizarre and funny flirtation between his depressed secretary (Lio Tipton) and a poetry-writing hitman (Mustafa Shakir). Former NFL player Marshawn Lynch plays a hitman who, at one point, yells “Beast Mode,” so I guess he’s playing himself? There’s a cameo by one of the Property Brothers that will only be funny if you’ve watched Girls5Eva (that’s on Netflix, and it’s funnier than this). Sean Astin shows up in a cowboy hat, making this a Goonies reunion. And there are some weird, violent deaths that, as I said, might be at odds with the movie’s charming tone but are good for a few WTF moments. Plus – and I can’t stress how much I applaud this – it’s only 83 minutes. That’s worth a half star right there.
Should you rush out to make this pre-Valentine’s Day viewing? Nah. Is it worth putting on when it comes to streaming so you can glance up at the fight scenes while you fold clothes? Sure. Love Hurts didn’t woo me, but it’s worth a flirtation.