Merry Christmas, see you in 2023
Let’s close the book on another year
I don’t check my subscriber count here frequently. I don’t want to be driven by anxiety when I publish (anxiety drives enough of my life, thank you very much). Plus, I didn’t think that this year I’d done too much. As we’ll get to, this was a year in which my plans for this newsletter had to be postponed or abandoned in some ways, and I was feeling a bit sorry for myself, like I’d bungled something I saw so much momentum on last year.
So, I was shocked to check it about a week ago, hoping that maybe I’d gained at least a dozen new subscribers over the year, and discovered instead that my subscriber count had actually tripled since December 2021. I say that not to boast, but to simply say thank you.
For someone who started writing about film in newspapers, knowing there was an audience physically receiving my work each week, transitioning to the digital sphere has been an adjustment. I’ve had several platforms since I stopped writing for the paper in 2015, and it’s always a struggle to study the analytics and see who’s reading. The numbers were so low at some points that there were many times I considered throwing in the towel altogether. As we all know, the internet threw the doors wide open so that anyone who wanted to become a critic could, and that means when you publish anything, it is competing with countless other reviews, news updates, hot takes and clickbait.
I’ve been publishing on Substack for more than two years now, and it feels like the best approach for what I do in regard to film writing. I like the platform, and I like knowing that this is going out to an audience of people who are actually reading. Substack allows me to see not only how many people subscribe, but how many actually read consistently, and it’s moving to see that many of you are so engaged. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
When I started this year, I was moving at a clip where I published three pieces weekly. Franchise Friday was a constant. I tried to keep up to date with all the entertainment news. I was going to introduce a video component to this as well as a new podcast element. I was even planning to add a paid portion to this newsletter.
Instead, for reasons I’ll detail in a bit, I had to pull back a bit. When you’re writing unpaid, largely in the evenings and on weekends, three times a week is a high target, and in the fall I realized I had set the bar a bit too high. I think aiming for one or two pieces a week has been the right choice. The pieces have been better, and my energy’s returned. In fact, some weeks I do get out three entries. But I think making the goal one or two is the best; it gives me flexibility to write only when I truly have something to say, and keeps me from feeling burned out. It’s kept this enjoyable.
The video element never came together, but it’s not totally off the table (the question of whether anyone wants to see my mug regularly is a valid question). And there’s a podcast idea in the works (in addition to We’re Watching Here) that I think is going to happen some time in early 2023, although I’m not quite sure of frequency. But I’m really excited about it. And it’s still my goal to offer something extra to people who are willing to pay a few bucks a month. But I want to be careful about what I offer and be sure I can deliver on those promises, so that’s still a bit off.
But it was a good year. I began writing reviews of new releases over at CinemaNerdz, and it’s reinvigorated my love of that particular form. I did several Franchise Fridays, and I have some series I’m really excited about coming here in 2023. I had my first book chapter published, and I’m really proud of my entry. Perry and I settled into a nice monthly rhythm with We’re Watching Here, and we’ve done some of my favorite episodes. Most fun was our chance to host a live event over the summer, where we introduced an audience to The Big Chill. In fact, when I look back, it’s been a productive year. In 2022, I produced:
34 film reviews for CinemaNerdz
90 stand-alone posts here at Chrisicisms
12 episodes of We’re Watching Here
1 book chapter
Critically speaking, it was a steady if uneventful year. Personally, it was a bit of a roller coaster.
There were good and exciting things. My wife and I were finally able to take a week to ourselves and head to Universal Orlando, a trip I’d been bugging her about for several years. It was a great trip; I’m a theme park nerd, and it was great fun to experience some of these really immersive attractions. My son started playing flag football this year, and while I’m not a sports fan, it was great to go and cheer him on. My daughter’s become an avid reader over the last few months, and it’s amazing to sit and listen as she consumes books with a fervor she shares with both of her parents. We did a family trip to northern Michigan in July that was a relaxing respite, and our traditional trip to Kings Island, which was a bit of a rain-soaked mess. I read several books, but not as many as I wanted. I toyed with beginning to write a novel but back-burnered it. I caught COVID in the spring, which was less an ordeal than it was an annoyance, but it’s still noteworthy.
Most notably, in April, I left the place where I’d been employed for nearly 10 years to pursue a new opportunity, one that quickly revealed itself to be a bad fit. I’d moved on from a job I enjoyed mainly because money was dangled and I felt an obligation to move on after getting my master’s degree. It was a mistake, and it taught me a great deal about the importance of staying where you’re happy and keeping your values in focus. After nearly four months, during which I was so stressed that I wasn’t sleeping and was losing weight from not taking lunch breaks, I began talking with my old employer about the possibility of returning. We were very quickly able to work it out so I could come back in early August (I got the offer to return on my birthday), and I have now been back longer than I was away. I haven’t regretted it for a second. I like what I do, I like the team I work with, and it’s my hope to be there for a good, long time. Sometimes, you just don’t realize how good you have it until you see it from the other side.
I think a lot of the confusion and off-kilter feel of this year is due to a rush back to “normal” as our culture convinces itself we’re out of the pandemic. To be clear: we’re not. My wife and I both got COVID this year. I have several friends and family members whose Christmas plans have been altered because of it. It’s still out there, and it’s making people sick. Thankfully, deaths and hospitalizations are way down. We have medications and vaccines that mean if you’re taking proper precautions, your risk of serious illness is lower. We’re past the need for a lockdown (although I feel like occasional mask requirements should be more of a thing).
The result has been a rush back to our old ways of living, and I get it. I was happy to be able to return to movies, concerts and vacations. But I feel like we’ve also returned to some of our not-so-healthy habits. We’re over-extended once again. We’ve done what I’ve feared; instead of trying to create a new normal that better supports our mental health, we’ve returned to our distractions and our busy routines. Only, after two years inside, we’re angry and anxious, and it’s harder to disconnect. We’re doing the things we used to, but I feel like internally we all know something is still off. It’s made our year feel too rushed, too hectic, too obligatory. There have been several times this year where I’ve looked back fondly on the lockdown time, when we didn’t have to rush out every evening to an extracurricular activity, school or church event, family gathering, or chore. I miss being stuck at home with just the four of us sometimes. Life is too busy, and the gas has been rapidly running out of my tank.
As we approach Christmas, it’s been a crazy season. My wife works as the communication director for a large church, and as you can imagine, that keeps her pretty busy this time of year. On top of that, we’ve had illnesses, regular holiday chaos and more. We’ve had to pivot several Christmas plans. As this comes out, we’re in the middle of a winter storm that’s got us hunkered down inside, and it’s probably going to make a mess of the roads tomorrow. It’s been chaotic and, if I’m honest, I don’t know if it’s ever quite felt like Christmas. The music and lights have been there; but I feel like we’re dashing through it, eager to soak up all the experiences we’ve put on hold for several years. It’s obligatory, not celebratory. And I’m tired.
But I’ve been doing a lot of reading this Advent season, and am constantly reminded how this time of year in the Christian calendar is actually not focused on celebration; that comes on Christmas Day. Rather, this time is an acknowledgement of a world that is stressed, anxious, dark and dangerous. It’s a reminder that we’ve been here before, and our needs were met. And my faith reminds us that this time of year also means we look forward to a day when everything will be made right.
So even in the harried nature of this post(ish)-pandemic Christmas, there’s still a thrill of hope. The weary world – and it does, indeed, feel weary – rejoices. Yonder breaks a new and glorious morn’.
The end of Advent is almost here. And it seems fitting that my holiday break will take us right through Epiphany. For the first time in our marriage, my wife and I both have jobs that are closing down between Christmas and New Year’s Day (it’s usually only me). We have enough vacation time to take an extra week after that, which coincides with my children’s holiday break. And so, I’m planning to close my laptop, sign out of social media and only use my computer for watching movies over the next two weeks. This is the last newsletter of the year; I’ll be back in early/mid-January, refreshed and ready for a new season of movies and musings.
Once again, thank you all for reading. I couldn’t – wouldn’t – do this without you. Have a safe and Merry Christmas, and a very happy new year.
— CW