My 2022 movie runners-up

Plus, the 5 worst movies I saw this year.

Over the last few weeks, critics around the nation have been in a rush to publish their best-of lists and proclaim a variety of films their favorites of 2022. I’m not sure what they’re going to write about for the next two weeks. 

I understand why critics post their lists in mid-December. Much of it comes from obligations for critics groups, which tend to announce their winners in the middle of the month both to help set the tone for awards and, honestly, as a favor for studio marketing teams, who can use the awards to either goose the recognition of films from earlier in the year or promote Christmas releases. If they’re going to compile their list of the top 10 movies for their guild, why not just also announce their own personal list? And with the way the film conversation works these days, once a few critics put out their lists, others follow quickly to be part of the talk and increase visibility for their pieces. 

I hate to sound all “old man yells at cloud,” but it wasn’t always this way. Our local critics’ top 10 lists used to appear in newspapers on Dec. 31. When I was writing for a paper, my list appeared in our final edition for each year, right alongside my year-end news wrap-ups. Living in the Midwest, many of the big end-of-year releases didn’t even open in our area until well into January or February – an issue happening less often in these days of digital releases and shortened windows –  so it didn’t feel quite right to tell readers about movies that were still a month or two off. 

There’s no right or wrong way to do it, of course, and my own situation might have been different had our local critics group not disbanded this year, meaning most of us were left in the cold when it came to screeners (that’s how most critics are able to see everything before year’s end). But I’ll admit a bit of nostalgia for the days when my year closed out with a look at the best movies, instead of reading critics’ picks several weeks before Christmas has even arrived. That – and the fact that I’m going to spend most of January getting through 2022 releases – is why you won’t see my Top 10 Films of 2022 list until Jan. 31. 

But that doesn’t mean we can’t talk movies and make lists! While I don’t have a final top 10 ready to go, I do know there are some films I really enjoyed that won’t make the cut (the others that drop off, I’ll recognize in a postscript in my Jan. 31 list). So, I want to take some time singling them out (in no particular order), look at some older movies I encountered for the first time, and exorcize some demons and rant about the five worst films I saw this year. 

So, let’s go! 

Chris’ 10 almost-made-the-list movies 

Best superhero film: The Batman 

Truthfully, we don’t need any more dark and gritty takes on Batman. We get it; he’s rich, angry and he misses his parents. There are so many approaches that could be taken with this character that knowing we were once again going to visit a grimy, rain-soaked Gotham and spend three hours with an angsty Bruce Wayne just didn’t thrill me. 

But Matt Reeves, the man who reinvigorated the Planet of the Apes franchise, found a way to make it work and give the character a much-needed course correction. His rain-drenched Gotham City is a tactile, gloriously dank creation, and Robert Pattinson’s take on Bruce Wayne as a man who is so closed off and quiet without the mask but comes to life when the costume’s on is pretty great. I also appreciate that the film is in dialogue with this take on Batman, suggesting that an icon of vengeance only goes so far and, to be truly effective, he has to become a symbol of hope. Paul Dano, Colin Farrell (in the first of several great performances this year) and Zoe Kravitz round out a fantastic ensemble. My only complaint is that the movie never tops its opening 10 minutes, which might be the greatest stretch of Batman on film we’ve ever had. 

Best family film (that’s not on my top 10 list): Turning Red 

Disney did Pixar dirty this year, as it has throughout the pandemic, relegating it mostly to streaming aside from the underwhelming Lightyear. A shame, because Turning Red, released in March, stands alongside some of the studio’s best. The story of a young Chinese-Canadian girl experiencing the weirdness of puberty, the movie is a subversive, weird and often very funny entry in the Pixar canon. Meilin is one of the most interesting and funniest Disney heroines since Lilo, and the film mixes family conflict, adolescence angst and boy band obsessions together in a way that is often very funny and always very heartfelt. The giant red panda is a wonderful symbol for out-of-control hormones, and it has to be acknowledged that the songs slap. 

Best legacy sequel: Prey 

It was a huge year for sequels to long-dormant franchises, and the big surprise of 2022 is how many of them were successful both creatively and commercially. In fact, there’s several more on this list. But for my money, the most surprising and refreshing was Dan Trachtenberg’s return to the Predator universe. Bringing the iconic alien hunter to 1600s America is a masterstroke, leading to a tense, primal and highly entertaining action movie. Amber Midthunder is fantastic, with her Comanche warrior standing proudly alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Glover’s heroes from this film’s predecessors. The only downside is one of distribution – this was a Hulu exclusive, when it would have played insanely well on a big screen with a crowd. 

Best comedy: Jackass Forever

I’m 43 years old. I should be better than this. But over the last 20 years, no one has made me laugh until it hurts like Johnny Knoxville and his crew of willing idiots. The gang is back with gray in their hair and deep lines on their faces, and the aging only makes the abuse they take that much funnier. Although there’s a gang of new recruits, the old guard doesn’t sit back idly. This Jackass movie features Knoxville and his crew being flung, pummeled and nearly killed in ways that still make me wince before doubling over in laughter. But the key remains the sense of camaraderie, as the willing participants laugh each injury off and goad each other on. Over 20 years, this is weirdly one of our warmest franchises, male bonding via bodily abuse. 

Best “how did no one get sued”: Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers 

The only explanation for this movie is that no Disney executives were paying attention to what Jorma Taccone was doing. John Mulaney and Andy Samberg head up this subversive and often very clever take on Who Framed Roger Rabbit. What could have been just a simple IP grab playing off affection for an afternoon cartoon is instead a funny and very weird collision of satire, meta humor and IP exploitation. My kids love this, but I can’t quite figure out why – the jokes about CGI surgery, mice with cheese addictions, bootlegging and Seth Rogen’s plethora of animated characters should go right over their head. But they’re pitched right in my direction. All hail Ugly Sonic! 

Most improved sequel: Top Gun: Maverick 

Earlier this year, for the first time in three decades, I rewatched Tony Scott’s Top Gun. And it’s…not good. Oh, it’s slick, fronted by a charismatic lead, and has a banger of a soundtrack. But it’s not a movie; it’s a demo reel. So I was shocked when Joseph Kosinski’s long-awaited sequel burst onto the screen and was one of the most entertaining experiences of the year. The secret? Take the low-stakes school competition of the first film and give it heft. Also, throw in a heavy dash of Mission: Impossible and Star Wars. Mix in a high dose of Tom Cruise’s charm and practical stunts instead of CGI trickery and, praise Xenu, you have a sequel that flies circle around the original.  

Best movie I didn’t enjoy watching: Crimes of the Future 

Seeing David Cronenberg’s latest was one of my most interesting movie memories from this year, just from the context surrounding it. I was in Chicago for work and met up with friend and fellow critic Kevin McLenithan (of Seeing and Believing fame) for burgers and drinks. I tagged along with him to the Music Box Theater – dodging tornadoes and torrential downpours as we did. It set a surreal, very wet tone for the movie to follow – which itself is surreal and very wet. Cronenberg’s film isn’t quite body horror – body satire? Body art criticism? Body noir? It’s set in a world where surgery is the new artform and body modifications are the latest fetish. It’s stylish, darkly funny and – there’s no better way to put this – goopy, and Viggo Mortensen, Kristen Stewart and Lea Seydoux all know how to pitch their performance. It’s all a bit too clinical and cold for me, as much of Cronenberg is, but I can’t deny it’s a hard film to shake. As so many of our films ladle on CGI trickery, it’s refreshing to see one that feels so tactile and gross. And Cronenberg’s satire of the art world is often very funny and on-point. It’s weird and compelling, even if I can’t say I quite enjoy it.  

Best horror: Barbarian 

While I would prefer to remain spoiler-free when going into a movie, I wouldn’t consider myself a spoiler phobe. But with Barbarian, I can’t imagine that a first viewing works nearly as well if you don’t go in cold. Zach Cregger’s smart little horror movie deftly plays with its narrative and tone and likely keeps even the most seasoned horror veterans off balance. It’s a romantic comedy with a dark undercurrent, a #MeToo movie that verges on satire. Finally, it’s a monster movie that plays with our sympathies. But even once its twists are revealed, it still sticks to the ribs as a tense, weird and scary bit of horror, one that makes us afraid of what’s in the shadows and suggests that maybe it’s not the hidden people who are our most dangerous monsters. 

Best manipulation of my nostalgia: Scream

This should not have worked. It’s not just a legacy sequel to Scream – it’s a legacy sequel to a legacy sequel, one that already worked much better than it had any right to. It lacks the creative hands of both writer Kevin Williamson and director Wes Craven. But the directing duo of Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett understand what made Craven’s original horror-comedy work and deliver enough new twists on the format to make this a surprisingly welcome return to Woodsboro. When the film’s opening is a rework/homage to the opening of Scream, is that shameless pandering? Maybe; but nostalgia and familiarity are part of what make this franchise sing. Add in the returning characters, some shocking and brutal deaths, and a clever mystery, and you have a franchise that made a muscular return – so much so, that I’m not even going to temper my enthusiasm for March’s Scream VI. 

Best biopic: Weird - The Al Yankovic Story 

Walk Hard may have killed the biopic, but it appears there’s still life left in the biopic parody. Daniel Radcliffe is such a bad choice to portray Weird Al Yankovic that he immediately becomes a brilliant one in this very silly and often very funny movie. Radcliffe commits 100% to the movie’s straight-faced, bonkers tone, which tells how Al went from family reject to Madonna’s boy toy to Pablo Escobar’s mortal enemy. The film skewers the expected biopic beats, is full of legitimately fun cameos and, of course, has a great soundtrack to back it all up. Despite – or rather, because – of the way it ends, I am dying for a sequel. 

Best “new to me” movies

Nashville (1975, Robert Altman) 

As the We’re Watching Here podcast luxuriated in Altman’s filmography this year (with The Player still to come in 2023), the highs never hit higher than Altman’s American epic about music, politics and capitalism. It’s a plotless movie with a cast of dozens – yet they’re all rendered so full of life and energy – that might be one of the best movies ever made about our nation. 

Near Dark (1987, Katheryn Bigelow) 

A violent and stylish vampire Western. Bigelow captures the seductive, sexy allure of vampires without dulling the danger. Adrian Pasdar and Jenny Wright are really good as the young lovers caught up in the bloodshed, but it’s Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen and Jenette Goldstein who are seared on my mind. If you don’t think vampires are scary, give this film’s bar-set centerpiece a look. 

The Big Chill (1983, Lawrence Kasden) 

This past summer, Perry and I were invited to host an event at a local theater in which we’d surprise the audience with a movie. The Big Chill is a long-time favorite of Perry’s and it was available, so I was happy when it was chosen. The only problem? I hadn’t seen the movie. I watched it just a few weeks before the event, and immediately fell in love with this ensemble and the film’s observations about middle-aged disillusionment and Boomer angst. Watching it again with an audience, it felt like revisiting old friends. The jokes hit harder, the drama was more effective and that soundtrack just plays. So happy to have seen this. 

The French Connection (1971, William Friedkin) 

One of my first Criterion watches of the year, and it’s fantastic. Gene Hackman’s long been one of my all-time favorite actors, and Popeye Doyle is instantly iconic. I love the gritty, dirty look of 1970s New York and the ugly, cynical take that was so prevalent in movies from this era. But mostly, it’s that car chase. 

The Long Goodbye (1973, Robert Altman) 

Altman again, and this one was another pure delight. Elliot Gould is so much fun to watch as Philip Marlowe, wandering around Los Angeles as a man out of time, mumbling to himself. I love the look of this; how everything is hidden behind walls or smudged glass, and the soundtrack, which finds new and increasingly funny ways to recycle its title song. When we started this series, I had never seen an Altman film before; this year, I had trouble deciding which one was my favorite (I could have easily put McCabe & Mrs. Miller on this list or – I’m not joking – Popeye). 

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The 5 worst movies I saw in 2022

The Bubble

Judd Apatow has directed, written and produced many films I absolutely love. I’m sure he will again. But this Netflix pandemic comedy/Hollywood satire was about as funny as getting COVID. 

Pinocchio 

I refuse to believe the man who gave us the magic of Who Framed Roger Rabbit directed something so inert, lifeless and unimaginative. When the most noteworthy shot in your film is your main character staring at a pile of shit, you should probably start considering retirement. 

Bullet Train 

I think I still have a headache from this shrill, pointless and dopey action-comedy that indulges the worst of David Leitch’s style and wastes a talented cast. 

Jurassic World: Dominion 

It can’t even deliver on the last film’s promise of a world filled with dinosaurs and somehow makes a scene with raptors chasing motorcycles boring.  An already awful franchise finally (hopefully?) goes extinct with this abysmal, dunderheaded and ugly finale. 

Disenchanted 

How the heck do you screw this up? Amy Adams tries her hardest but can’t stay afloat in this overlong, unfunny and charmless fairy tale sequel. The rare movie that not even Maya Rudolph can save.